Tag: advice

Five Reasons I Won’t Buy Your Book

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There are certain things that can turn me into the Orange Jacket Meme Guy/Drake within 5 seconds of seeing a book. Here is the list.

  • Bad/Mediocre Cover Art: You know what they say, “You can judge a book by its cover.” Trying to save money by making a cover yourself (if you are not a professional artist) is a bad idea. Having a friend make a cover for you is also an equally bad idea. And even if you are a professional artist, it still may be better to have someone else make your cover, as it is hard to be objective about your own artwork. Since the cover is going to be a key thing that sells the book, it’s worth every penny. Even a mediocre or okay cover will not cut it. You need to have a top quality product. Quality art says, “I put time and effort into this.” Otherwise, why should I spend my time and money on something that is not a quality product when there are millions of other books available?
  • A book cover can cost anywhere from $10-$950. However, the good news is that I have seen decent covers available for anywhere between $80-$250. One way to save money while still getting a quality product is to buy a pre-made rather than custom cover. At the following Facebook page, you can buy quality pre-made covers for around $80. Book Cover Gallery – A Place for Authors and Artists
  • Bad Summary: After looking at the cover, the very next thing I’m going to look at is your book’s summary (the blurb that is usually on the back cover). A book summary should have at least 1-2 paragraphs. These paragraphs need to tell the reader the following: What is the hook (What is it about this book that will draw the reader into the story)? Who is your protagonist? What is their goal? What are their struggles to reach that goal? What are the stakes? What is a short, summarized explanation of the plot? Tell us about the unique world or situation they are dealing with that makes this different from other books. Read the summaries of popular books to get an understanding of what you should do.
  • I’ve seen too many self-published books where there are only about 1-2 sentences giving me a vague description like, “This is my book of poems.” Okay, why should I care? Or, “Experience a summer of romance where Bob meets two charming dudes who sweep him off his feet.” Why do I care about Bob or these random dudes? And why should I spend money to see what happens to them? The other problem is writing a summary that is too long. If you can’t summarize your story in under a minute, there’s a good chance that you don’t know the key points of your own story.
  • Another deal breaker for me in the summary is overdone plots: vampire romance, YA dystopia, and zombies.
  • Off putting topics: The other day I read a blurb for a self-published book that casually mentioned child torture. That was enough to make me not buy the book. Other hot potato topics are rape, trauma, or anything that relates to cruelty toward animals and children. These topics must be handled with caution if you should decide to mention them.
  • No Reviews: I’m less inclined to buy a book that has no reviews whatsoever. Definitely beg, bribe, hypnotize, or do whatever you must to get your family and friends to review the book. That will definitely increase the chances of you making a sale.
  • Grammatical/Spelling Mistakes Within the First Five Pages: With many books, you can read a short sample before you make a purchase. If I see simple mistakes of spelling, punctuation, or grammar in the first five pages, I will definitely not buy this book. What this shows me is that the author couldn’t even be bothered to use a simple spell-check tool. Paying for an editor to review your book is another important investment as a self-published author. Yet it can be expensive, anywhere from $1000-$10,000. However, if you can’t afford an editor, at least pay for a program like grammarly, which will catch most of the basic mistakes for you. This will cost around $144 a year. Yes, it sucks to spend money, but you have to spend money to make money. Few people are going to buy a book with basic grammar errors on the first page.
  • Bad Writing in the First Five Pages: Of course, writing is a very subjective art. But in terms of the basics I would stay away from, here is a short list:
  • Cliches such as starting the book with a character waking up and describing their typical day, or the character looking in the mirror.
  • Nothing happens. It’s just happy people doing happy things.
  • Too much description about something that is not important.
  • Too little description. I am not grounded in the world and I have no idea what is happening.
  • Sexist writing that objectifies women. I get that your male character is attracted to women, but starting out the story with a gratuitous description of her breasts and butt (when this is not erotica) will lose my interest (Yes, I’ve put down books for this reason). And given that 70% of people who buy books are women, this may not be the way to start out.
  • Too many characters. In many self-published books I’ve bought, I’ve seen the mistake where the author feels a need to introduce all their key characters in the first chapter. Having ten random new people all thrown at me simultaneously makes my head feel like it’s spinning. Try not to introduce the reader to too many people at once.
  • I would definitely recommend that you pay for a developmental editor if you can afford it. And if not, at least get a friend to read your book and give you feedback before you publish. Also, I would recommend that you join a writers group. A writers group has immense value for developing your skills as a writer and getting free feedback.

I hope this was helpful. Feel free to comment. Now go publish the best book you can!

Do NOT Write a Book

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The title may seem like odd advice since this is a blog for writers.

Isn’t the first step of being a writer to … you know… write?

That may be true, but there are several good reasons not to start off your career as a writer by writing a book.

I just read a great article by Medium author Akshay Gajria called, “Please Do NOT Write a Book.” I highly recommend it.

The point Akshay makes is that a large number people have dreams of writing a book. And many of these people often have unrealistic expectations.

While there are all sorts of workshops and books out there training people how to write “12k” words a day, Akshay reminds his readers that much much more goes into a book than simply getting words down. There’s also editing and research.

While it may take 6 months to simply write a first draft, polishing that first draft into a quality product can take years. For me, it takes 2-3 years on average to write and finish a book. And that includes working on said book about 5 days a week.

Writing a book is not a mere passion project. It’s a major commitment. And it’s something that takes skill. One must know how to structure a story, create compelling characters, have a logical plot, good pacing and quality description.

A great point that Akshay made is that one should build their skill by writing short stories first. Short stories require a much smaller time commitment. They are also much easier to get published than novels. A publisher takes a smaller financial risk on a short story than a novel.

Many of the most famous authors today got their start with short stories, including Stephen King and George R.R. Martin.

Short stories are also a good way to build your portfolio, get your name out there and build an audience before you make the major commitment to write a book.

If you enjoyed this advice, please read Akshay Gajria’s article, “Please Do Not Write a Book.”

Why “The Love Interest” Is a Boring Character

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Do I hate love? Am I cold, dark hearted person?

Or is it that the “love interest” is a boring character in fiction? Specifically, the “Satellite Love Interest” trope is a character who exists solely in reference to another character as a cherished love object. In fact, the “Satellite Love Interest” could often be replaced with a bag of flavor blasted goldfish and the plot wouldn’t be affected much. This is similar to the sexy lamp test.

A satellite character is one whose sole purpose revolves around another more interesting, more significant character.

Does this mean that I am saying romance shouldn’t be a part of fiction? Absolutely not. What I am saying is that a character is more interesting if they are well developed and complex in their own right, and don’t depend on another character for their relevance.

EXAMPLES OF SATELLITE LOVE INTERESTS:

[Spoilers Included. If I list something you haven’t watched/read yet, feel free to skip past to avoid spoilers.]

[Disclaimer: The critique of the characters in the live action shows and movies mentioned is not a critique of the actors who play these characters. I’m sure these actors are all fine people.]

The Prince from Snow White:

This dude shows up at the beginning of the film to be all pretty and charming. That’s about it. Then he disappears for most of the film and returns at the opportune moment to wake Snow White up from her poison apple induced food coma. Rumor has it that Prince Charming had a larger role originally, but the animators were struggling with animating a human male.

Bella Swan from Twilight:

Bella Swan is a unusual example of the Satellite Love Interest being the main character of her own story. We don’t learn much about what her life was like before she moved away from sunny Arizona to rainy, emo Washington state: a place full of foggy montages and sparkly forests that echo with the sounds of early 2000s indie rock. That’s because all that matters is Edward, the most handsome vampire who ever handsomely handsomed into existence.

Bella easily makes friends at the beginning of the novel (because everyone loves her for inexplicable reasons), but then she dumps them all to be with the only person in the universe who matters—Eddie Pants. Her entire life soon revolves around Edward, to the point where she goes catatonic when he leaves her. She jumps between being Edward or Jacob’s satellite love interest throughout the series. Edward and Jacob could easily have been fighting over a bag of flavor blasted goldfish, because Bella had that special blood that made her a delicious snack.

Luke Bankole from The Handmaid’s Tale TV Show

Luke Bankole is the husband of the main character, Offred. He escapes Gilead and makes it to Canada. There he pretty much exists to pine for Offred, to be in her flashbacks, and to flail around (like one of those car dealership blowing floppy guys) in multiple attempts to be helpful that don’t end up panning out.

When Shows Try to Keep An Unnecessary Love Interest Character…

Laurel Lance/Black Canary from the show, Arrow:

In Arrow, we see Oliver Queen pining for Laurel while he’s stuck on the island (he’s stuck so long on that island). However, in season 3, the show writers make a sudden, and unexpected shift to the “Olicity” track, where they ship Oliver away from Laurel to the quirky, perky, blonde and nerdy Felicity Smoak. Many people believe that this was fan service, as fans found Felicity more interesting than Laurel.

After shipping Felicity with Oliver, it seemed the show writers didn’t have much they could do with the character of Laurel/Black Canary, since her original purpose was to be a love interest. So they kept finding contrived reasons to keep her relevant, including having Laurel die but then come back as an evil version of herself from another universe (I’m not even making this up).

However, I will say, some fans grew to like Black Canary in later seasons as the writers attempted to develop her into a more complex character. I stopped watching by season 6 because the show writers kept turning everyone Oliver met into a superhero. That boy had a superhero STI that affected everyone he touched, but that’s a story for another post.

Iris West Allen from the show, The Flash:

If you look on Reddit and Quora, there’s a lot of people who were not a fan of Iris West Allen, the love interest of Barry Allen/The Flash. In a show full of super heroes and super geniuses, Iris West Allen doesn’t really seem like she has a reason to be there. What makes her special? She writes an online blog?

Some people might say a character can still be interesting even without super powers and super intellect. And that is true for her father, Joe West. He’s likeable in the sense that he has life wisdom, street smarts and a sense of humor that dissolves tension. But unfortunately for Iris West Allen, she’s not even likeable.

Her catchphrase, “We are the Flash,” is cringey and reeks of entitlement. She routinely insists that she’s always right (when she happens to be in a room full of geniuses with super powers and multiple PHDs). Many people believe the writers put her into the position of authority over Team Flash simply because they had nothing else to do with her.

EXAMPLES OF INTERESTING LOVE INTERESTS:

I don’t want to be only negative, so I’ll try to point out some interesting love interests as well. I think the reason why the following love interests below work is because they are an integral part of the story, and couldn’t easily be replaced with a bag of flavor blasted goldfish.

MJ (played by Zendaya) in MCU’s Spiderman

MJ overall received positive reviews as a a strong, supporting character. She’s smart, snarky and interesting whenever she’s on the screen. She also helps Peter, Ned and Doctor Strange capture multiple super villains. She’s intelligent enough to feel like an organic part of the team (she is a soon to be student at MIT after all) and she has personality quirks that make her unique and yet sympathetic. She struggles with disappointment, and often avoids getting excited or happy about things so she won’t end up disappointed. I think many people can relate to that (myself included). And importantly, she is likeable!

All of the Love Interests in the show, Ms. Marvel

Ms. Marvel has received overwhelmingly positive reviews so far. It is a light-hearted, fun show about a teenage, Muslim, Pakistani super hero. She actually has multiple love interests in the show (which seems normal for a teenage girl).

First, there’s her loyal, nerdy sidekick Bruno. While Bruno obviously has feelings for Kamala Khan, she is oblivious to his attractions. This is a tale as old as time. Bruno is stuck knee deep into the friendzone. But he still tries to help her when he can with his technological innovations and moral support.

Then enters the tall, dark and handsome Kamran as the new kid at school. Kamala immediately becomes interested in him (why wouldn’t she?). He’s even willing to offer her driving lessons, which is a plus. But soon it becomes clear that he’s giving her attention because he wants her to help his mom, who happens to be a jinn. I think more than being handsome, he has an interesting background story and ends up being likeable. He takes a moral stand against his jinn mother, who is trying to make a portal that could destroy life on Earth.

The next potential love interest we meet is Kareem, a masked fighter who is a legacy crime fighter associated with The Red Dagger. So far he seems mysterious, and I definitely want to learn more about Kareem as the show progresses.

Mike in Stranger Things

Mike is Eleven’s love interest in Stranger Things. Yet more than being a guy she pines for, he is “the heart” of the team as Will states in a platonic (but not so platonic) speech about Mike in Season 4.

Mike is likeable as a loyal friend and a loyal boyfriend. He experiences some doubts about himself from time to time, but ultimately pulls through at the end of the day to help his friends.

Links

Sexy Lamp Test

Satellite Love Interest (TV Tropes)