There are certain things that can turn me into the Orange Jacket Meme Guy/Drake within 5 seconds of seeing a book. Here is the list.

---

• Bad/Mediocre Cover Art: You know what they say, “You can judge a book by its cover.” Trying to save money by making a cover yourself (if you are not a professional artist) is a bad idea. Having a friend make a cover for you is also an equally bad idea. And even if you are a professional artist, it still may be better to have someone else make your cover, as it is hard to be objective about your own artwork. Since the cover is going to be a key thing that sells the book, it’s worth every penny. Even a mediocre or okay cover will not cut it. You need to have a top quality product. Quality art says, “I put time and effort into this.” Otherwise, why should I spend my time and money on something that is not a quality product when there are millions of other books available?

• A book cover can cost anywhere from $10-$950. However, the good news is that I have seen decent covers available for anywhere between $80-$250. One way to save money while still getting a quality product is to buy a pre-made rather than custom cover. At the following Facebook page, you can buy quality pre-made covers for around $80. Book Cover Gallery – A Place for Authors and Artists

---

• Bad Summary: After looking at the cover, the very next thing I’m going to look at is your book’s summary (the blurb that is usually on the back cover). A book summary should have at least 1-2 paragraphs. These paragraphs need to tell the reader the following: What is the hook (What is it about this book that will draw the reader into the story)? Who is your protagonist? What is their goal? What are their struggles to reach that goal? What are the stakes? What is a short, summarized explanation of the plot? Tell us about the unique world or situation they are dealing with that makes this different from other books. Read the summaries of popular books to get an understanding of what you should do.

• I’ve seen too many self-published books where there are only about 1-2 sentences giving me a vague description like, “This is my book of poems.” Okay, why should I care? Or, “Experience a summer of romance where Bob meets two charming dudes who sweep him off his feet.” Why do I care about Bob or these random dudes? And why should I spend money to see what happens to them? The other problem is writing a summary that is too long. If you can’t summarize your story in under a minute, there’s a good chance that you don’t know the key points of your own story.

• Another deal breaker for me in the summary is overdone plots: vampire romance, YA dystopia, and zombies.

• Off putting topics: The other day I read a blurb for a self-published book that casually mentioned child torture. That was enough to make me not buy the book. Other hot potato topics are rape, trauma, or anything that relates to cruelty toward animals and children. These topics must be handled with caution if you should decide to mention them.

---

• No Reviews: I’m less inclined to buy a book that has no reviews whatsoever. Definitely beg, bribe, hypnotize, or do whatever you must to get your family and friends to review the book. That will definitely increase the chances of you making a sale.

---

• Grammatical/Spelling Mistakes Within the First Five Pages: With many books, you can read a short sample before you make a purchase. If I see simple mistakes of spelling, punctuation, or grammar in the first five pages, I will definitely not buy this book. What this shows me is that the author couldn’t even be bothered to use a simple spell-check tool. Paying for an editor to review your book is another important investment as a self-published author. Yet it can be expensive, anywhere from $1000-$10,000. However, if you can’t afford an editor, at least pay for a program like grammarly, which will catch most of the basic mistakes for you. This will cost around $144 a year. Yes, it sucks to spend money, but you have to spend money to make money. Few people are going to buy a book with basic grammar errors on the first page.

---

• Bad Writing in the First Five Pages: Of course, writing is a very subjective art. But in terms of the basics I would stay away from, here is a short list:

• Cliches such as starting the book with a character waking up and describing their typical day, or the character looking in the mirror.

• Nothing happens. It’s just happy people doing happy things.

• Too much description about something that is not important.

• Too little description. I am not grounded in the world and I have no idea what is happening.

• Sexist writing that objectifies women. I get that your male character is attracted to women, but starting out the story with a gratuitous description of her breasts and butt (when this is not erotica) will lose my interest (Yes, I’ve put down books for this reason). And given that 70% of people who buy books are women, this may not be the way to start out.

• Too many characters. In many self-published books I’ve bought, I’ve seen the mistake where the author feels a need to introduce all their key characters in the first chapter. Having ten random new people all thrown at me simultaneously makes my head feel like it’s spinning. Try not to introduce the reader to too many people at once.

• Check out How to Not Get Published for more information on this topic.

• I would definitely recommend that you pay for a developmental editor if you can afford it. And if not, at least get a friend to read your book and give you feedback before you publish. Also, I would recommend that you join a writers group. A writers group has immense value for developing your skills as a writer and getting free feedback.

I hope this was helpful. Feel free to comment. Now go publish the best book you can!